Karaoke Crack
by mrs.sakura.hatake
Summary: Partying and general merriment were just two things that Kakashi Hatake never sought in his day to day life. But when the entire gang gets together for a one off special event for a good friend, how can he refuse?
1. Prologue

Special thanks all of Kakashi's Sisterwives for all the encouragement. This is for you! And to Mallml for beta'ing.

This is a series of drabbles centered around Karaoke night. Everybody lives, and pretty much anyone ever encountered in the Naturoverse is welcome.

Kakashi was in his bedroom, not hiding. Nope, he just left his office early, through the window, ditched his ANBU, and snuck into his old apartment because he could. It had nothing to do with a certain senbon-obsessed shinobi or his ridiculous birthday party.

He was quite sure the entire thing would be a disaster. Everyone would be there, everyone would be drinking, and Genma would expect-no demand-he _participate._ If Genma didn't make him, Gai certainly would.

There could be no worse punishment than this. So he would spend his evening sitting on the floor in a bare room, and he couldn't have been happier about it.

* * *

There was a sharp knock at the door quickly followed by a most youthful yelling. "Gai-sensei, Gai-sensei! It is time for us to go to the pub."

Gai pulled the door open and greeted his student with a jaunty thumbs up and a blinding smile. "Ah Lee, you are correct. We must get going if we are going to pick up Neji and Tenten. I would hate for them to miss this after all our practicing this week."

Lee dashed away as his sensei closed the door. "Yes we must hurry! Gai-sensei, this will be my opportunity to woo the lovely Sakura. I am sure I can impress her with our display of youthfulness."

* * *

"Mom, Dad, hurry up! We don't wanna be late. Hinata will be there," Naruto yelled up the stairs.

"Oh, well if Hinata will be there we really must hurry," Kushina said as she came down the stairs, still struggling to clasp her earring. "We really shouldn't keep my future daughter-in-law waiting."

Minato, only two steps behind her, shook his head. "She is only your future daughter-in-law if your son actually gets around to asking her out."

Kushina whipped around and stuck her tongue out, earning a chuckle from her husband.

"I told you it's not like that," Naruto protested as they filed out of the door.

Minato pulled the door shut before putting an arm around Kushina and pulling her to his side. "At this rate we are never going to get grandchildren."

* * *

"Neji, if I have to go, so do you," Tenten protested sitting on the side of their bed buckling the straps of her pointy heels.

"You do know people will actually see us there?" he asked with an exaggerated roll of his pale eyes.

Tenten stood, took a moment to check her balance in the unfamiliar shoes, then took his hand. "If you go, and don't complain more than absolutely necessary, I will shampoo your hair."

Neji took a moment to consider her offer. He knew she enjoyed showering together as much as he did, so it wasn't much of a bribe. Even so, it was an offer he could not refuse, but she didn't have to know that. "Will you dry it too?"

_Bang. Bang. Bang. _-came the forceful knock at the door. "Neji! Tenten! Gai-sensei and I are here! We can all go to the pub together."

Tenten shook her head-the two of them had no idea how to do anything at a normal volume. "Yes, I'll dry it too," she agreed, still shaking her head. "We'd better go before they piss off the neighbors again."

* * *

Shizune was attempting to exit the shower, for the third time. "Genma, let go. The hot water is all gone, and you can't be late for your own party." She reached for a towel, but Genma grabbed it first. He patted his lover dry before wrapping it around her torso.

He pulled her close for one more searing kiss. "Fine, I'll let you get ready, but just know whatever you wear is subject to being destroyed when we get home tonight."

Shizune was dressed long before Genma. She wasn't remotely surprised by this. He always spent too long on his hair, and it always looked exactly the same as when he started.

"Come on," she whined. "We still have to go track down our illustrious Hokage."

"I've got that covered. I'm sending the best."

* * *

Sakura looked herself over in the full-length mirror. Ino was truly a miracle worker. She had pulled, pushed, and blinded Sakura into someone she almost didn't recognize, before slipping a red strapless number onto her.

"You look great. Honestly, I think it's my best work yet."

"I don't know how you do it. No one would know I just spent fourteen hours at the hospital."

Ino's eyebrow raised dangerously until it was lost behind her long blonde bangs. "I thought you said you only worked twelve hours today?"

"Well... there was a nap at my desk, and I had lunch so I really only _worked_ twelve hours," she stated proudly. Ino would see right through her, but hopefully she would just drop it.

Ino help up her arms in mock surrender. "Whatever you say. Now are you going to tell me why you are so worried about tonight?"

Sakura bit her lip, considering how to answer. Telling the truth would make it real, but lying to Ino was impossible. After everything they've been through together, Ino deserved the truth.

She took a deep breath, and turned to face her friend fully. "He kissed me."

Ino's eyes were as wide as her smile. "Where?"

"On the lips?" Sakura replied, confused.

"No, where were you? When? How was it? Was there a mask?" Ino's questions were flying out so fast Sakura couldn't comprehend them all.

"Um, how about I tell you all about it later, I've gotta go," she answered with a shy grin, then took off down the stairs and through the flower shop. Ino heard the ting of the door chimes as Sakura ran out. She smiled at her own image in the mirror. Took them long enough. She smoothed the sides of her violet satin dress, and headed down the stairs. This was shaping up to be Genma's best party ever, and she wasn't going to miss a moment of it.

* * *

Kakashi had known she would be the one to find him. There was no getting out of it now. He opened the door just as she was raising a hand to knock. "How'd you know?"

"I just did. I can always find you," she said, reaching out for his hand.

His fingers wrapped around hers. "Fine, I'll go, but I am not singing."

"I wouldn't be so sure. I hear Gai has been practicing. I know you won't back down from a challenge," she teased.

This was inspired by Dryadis who put the idea of Genma as a Guns and Roses fan into my head, and it grew into this. What G&R hit do you think Genma will sing?

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	2. Welcome to the Jungle

**Thanks to mummpaintstheblues for beta'ing**

Sakura stopped short, only a few steps from their goal. She turned back to Kakashi with a shy smile. The blue neon lights of the _Tipsy Senbon_ sign reflected off her hair, making it shine violet. This was all so new for them, and they hadn't really even talked about it. He hated to have to deal with the entire shinobi world knowing before he knew what it all meant, but there was no going back now.

"Sakura, before everything gets all _Genma, _and I forget: you look amazing tonight."

The goofy smile that spread across her face was infectious and Kakashi knew his was just as ridiculous, but thankfully, hidden behind his mask.

Sakura opened her mouth to answer but before she could a boisterous voice echoed across the village, "Eternal Rival!"

There was nothing Kakashi could really do. He had known this was coming from the moment he had stepped out of his old apartment. Sinking into this signature slouch he held up his free hand and answered, "Yo."

"Always so cool, but tonight I shall be victorious! I challenge you to a singing competition!" he said with a blinding smile. Lee nodded enthusiastically beside him while Neji tried to make himself as small as possible, hoping to find a last minute excuse out of this nonsense.

Tenten wasn't paying them any attention, she was far too busy eyeing Sakura with a look that promised an interrogation, sooner rather than later.

Kakashi, never one to back down, just nodded in acceptance and started making his way into the bar, pulling Sakura with him. "What are the parameters of the challenge?"

"We choose our own song and select a panel of judges to pick a winner."

"How many judges?"

"Five!" Gai had been planning this for some time. "No former students, teammates or lovers."

Kakashi wasn't sure but he thought he heard Tenten mumble something about _all three, _but decided to let it slide and easily agreed to the terms.

They looked over the bar, which was standing room only, and Sakura groaned internally, these were not standing all night shoes. Then in the very front she spotted Shizune and Genma waving at them with several tables pushed together.

Kakashi leaned close to her ear to be heard over the noise, "Go ahead and grab a seat and I'll get drinks. It's gonna take a minute to work out this judge thing."

Sakura nodded in understanding, then she pushed her way to the front of the crowded room. She could feel Tenten hot on her trail, and Ino was already waiting with Shizune. It was going to be a long night.

Before Sakura could take a seat Genma was making his way to the makeshift stage. The din lowered without prompting as he stepped up to the microphone.

"Welcome to our first karaoke night," the words were barely understandable over the feedback that filled the room. He shot a glance to Itachi at the table at the side of the stage.

Itachi gave an apologetic wave as he fiddled with the dials and nodded for Genma to continue.

"As I was saying, welcome to the first karaoke night at Tipsy's. I hope everyone is here for a good time." His eyes cut to Shizune who turned bright red before continuing. "And just to make sure of that, pitchers of Hoppy Ending are half price for the next 2 hours."

Sakura turned back to the bar just in time to see an animated discussion with Gai, Kakashi, Anko, and Iruka come to a complete stop, as they all turned to the bar and signaled for a pitcher. Sakura turned back to the table to find Ino, Shizune and Tenten collectively staring at her with questions all over their faces.

"What?" she asked, not even attempting to feign innocence.

"You were staring at his ass," Tenten accused.

"It is a nice ass," Shizune said without thinking, then raising both hands to cover her mouth in shock at her own statement.

Everyone doubled over with laughter as the sounds of guitars filled the air around them. Sakura was saved from the awkward questioning by the Genma's voice rushing over them.

_Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games_

_We got everything you want honey, we know the name_

"Shizune!" Sakura accused, "You've been holding out on us. He can sing."

"What!... No!... I don't know what you're talking about," she denied, flailing her hands about.

Ino snorted and almost spit out her drink, "It's the worst kept secret in the village. Everyone knows you stay at his place four or five nights a week."

Genma picked that exact moment to remove the microphone from its stand and wink at their table, causing Shizune to bury her face in her hands

_Feel my, my, my serpentine_

_Uh, I, I want to hear you scream_

Genma strutted around the stage, working the mic and his hips as Kakashi and Gai watched from the bar. Several pitchers were placed in front of them.

"I'd like to add an addendum the rules," Kakashi said seriously. He pointed at the stage and continued, "None of... whatever that is."

Gai laughed nodding in agreement as they gathered up the beer and joined their friends at the table.

"Did you get the judges worked out Gai-sensei?" Lee asked seriously.

"That we did, Lee. I am sure we will have a fair contest of musical skills and performance."

"I signed you up for the next two spots, but Kakashi-sensei will need to tell Shisui what music he wants."

"Great job Lee," Gai answered, his grin getting wider at the thought of besting his rival.

Kakashi felt no hurry to make any choices and instead slid down next to Sakura wrapping his arm over her shoulders as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He could feel the heat coming off her face and smiled beneath his mask. Then again, it could be Genma's display and not Kakashi's proximity making her blush. Only Genma could make these lyrics feel even dirtier. With a kick to the air, Genma's performance came to an end. He looked over the room with mild disappointment at the disinterested applause that followed his heartfelt rendition.

Gai jumped up as he slumped off the stage. "Let's go team! Lee, give everyone their hat!"

Neji took one look at the abominations in Lee's hand. "Absolutely not."

**Genma singing G&R was the inspiration for this fic from the beginning, so I had to make it the first selection of the night.**

**Team Gai is up next. Any guesses what's with the hats?**

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	3. Whip It

Beta'd by Mummapaintstheblue

Neji stood in the front of the room, holding the red monstrosity of a hat in disbelief. He had been forced to do a lot of ridiculous things as a member of Team Gai, but _nothing _quite as bad as this. Did they really think he was going to put that _thing_ on his head?

"Hurry, Neji!" Lee encouraged, nodding with the molded red plastic perched atop his head.

"Lee, I am not wearing a... a... wedding cake on my head." He countered.

"I don't know Neji, I think it looks like a pillbox hats stacked on top of each other?" Tenten chimed in turning the plastic over and over in her hands.

"Now Neji, this is a contest of performance as well as skill. We must give our all if we are going to defeat my rival." Gai didn't wait for a response to his pep talk; he just turned and stepped onto the raised stage.

Neji plopped the red plastic tiers onto his head and followed. In the end, he knew there was no winning an argument when a rivalry contest was involved.

The table directly in front of the stage sat the five judge panel. Iruka, Anko, Gaara, Kureani, and Omoi watched with the serious understanding that, as judges of a contest, they had a duty to give their undivided attention to. But that didn't stop them from thinking, deep down, that maybe this whole _rivalry_ was out of control.

Naruto dropped two glasses onto the table and walked away when the light bulb went off. He turned back, and pulled a pocket of Tabasco from his pocket then handed it to his mother.

What ever he was going to say was eclipsed by laughter overtaking the room. Naruto cast an eye to the stage as the music started.

Gai was in front of his loyal teammates and already shaking his hips to the music. He might have agreed to no Genma like displays, but he wasn't a philistine.

_Crack that Whip_

One line, that was all it took and Anko and Kurenai were doubled over with glee, wiping tears from their eyes. Gaara shot them a glare that would have struck fear into the hearts of many, but Anko wasn't so easily cowered.

But then it happened. The background vocals started.

_When a problem comes along_

_You must whip it_

_Before the cream sits out too long_

_You must whip it_

Even Gaara couldn't keep his usually stoic face as Neji, Lee, and Tenten (in their matching plastic hats) all leaned forward and sang "You must whip it"

Gaara laughed as he had never laughed before, losing himself in the moment until his eyes were filled with tears. He looked across the table to see Anko had actually fallen onto Iruka's shoulder. Iruka's years at the academy had given him the ability to ignore nonsense of the highest degree. He was unphased by both Gai's display and Anko's behavior, and continued to devote his undivided attention to the task he had been given.

Before the second verse came to a close, joyful chaos had overtaken the room. Everyone laughing in a way that just wasn't appropriate for a shinobi, everyone except Kakashi. Kakashi's expression only became more grave as he considered what was unfolding around him. Joy was hard to beat, and Gai was providing that in spades. Kakashi knew there was only one option now.

With his mind made up he crossed the room to the sign up table and leaned close to Shisui.

From Minato's vantage he couldn't tell what Kakashi was saying but if he knew Kakashi at all he knew what was coming next. Kushina cocked an eye at her husband and stirred her drink with the celery garnish.

"What?"

"Bowie."

"Huh?"

"Kakashi knows Gai well, he was expecting this spectacle, and as much as he hates it, he loves it. He's trying to be all cool, but he really wants to win. "

Kushina took a generous sip of her cocktail and smiled at her husband. He would never stop thinking of Kakashi as their adopted son, and he loved watching Kakashi let himself have moments of normalcy.

_It's not too late_

_To whip it_

_Whip it good_

As soon as the music stopped the room erupted into an almost thunderous applause. Genma looked around the room in shock and shear horror that so many people could have such awful taste in music.


	4. Dance Magic

Thanks to MummaPaintsTheBlues for beta'ing and just being awesome in general.

Three nights ago...

Pakkun felt an all too familiar pull, materializing with the rest of his pack. Even after the haze of smoke had cleared he had no idea where he was. It was Konoha, he could sense the familiar wards that protected the city so he relaxed and plopped down where he was.

Uhei spoke up, "Where are we, Boss?"

"Under the ANBU headquarters," Kakashi replied calmly. He was walking around to passing out scrolls.

"What's this for?" Pakkun grumbled.

Kakashi did his best to look as kage-like as possible. " A matter of grave importance… A matter of life and death… A matter of."

"-It's a rivalry thing, isn't it," Pakkun interrupted, unimpressed.

Shiba looked up from the scroll alarmed. "Puppy dog tails?! What kind of song is this?"

Kakashi rubbed his temples, why was everything with Gai so much effort. "Just change that part to kitty cat tails."

"Do we have to do this, Boss?" Bull mumbled.

"Hopefully not, this is just the nuclear option."

* * *

As Gai left the stage, the judges table huddled up to argue quietly amongst themselves. In a room full of shinobi, any attempt at secrecy always took extra effort and they quickly decided it would be best to wait until after Kakashi finished so they would only have to do this once.

Team Gai rejoined the group already at the table. Lee attempted to take the seat next to Sakura but was cut off by Tenten.

Hinata was still in shock, there was no way Neji had just done that willingly. She didn't know what Tenten was using to convince her cousin to humiliate himself like that, but it had to be some kind of black mail. The stage around Kakashi filled with smoke and for a moment she thought it was a fog machine, but then she heard the unhappy grumbling that could only be Pakkun.

"Why would he call the ninken?" Sasuke asked seriously.

"Why does Kaka-sensei do anything?"

_You remind me of the babe (what babe?)_

_The babe with the power (what power?)_

Gai's mouth feel open in disbelief. He had the ninken singing backup? It was pandering, adorable pandering and worse, it was working. Gai hated it. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair wondering how Kakashi could have known what he had planned.

Minato leaned in close to Kushin and whispered, "Told you."

She pushed him back playfully taking a respectable sip from her Bloody Mary. "I'm gonna need another one."

"What about the _shinobi prohibitions?_

"That is for our son, not us. Get me another one and I'll go pick a song for us."

She was gone before Minato could stop her.

_What kind of magic spell to use_

_Slime and snails_

_Or kitty cat tails?_

Anko was desperately wiping the tears from her eyes. She wondered what she had done to deserve this treat. It certainly wasn't what she'd expected, and she couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so much.

Omio's sucker lay forgotten on the table. It had fallen from his mouth sometime during Gai's performance. What was he seeing, surely this wasn't the Copy Ninja and Rokudaime. It wasn't possible. His fingers formed quick seals and he whispered, "Release!"

Nothing changed. Okay, so maybe this was real.

Sai made his way to the front of the room and took the seat Kakashi had previously occupied between Gai and Sakura. He felt like Ino was trying to tell him something with her look, but he had no idea what. But Sai knew when he didn't understand what was happening it was best to stay where he was, so he sat there and turned his attention to the stage.

_Put that magic jump on me_

_Slap that baby_

_Slap that, slap that baby, make him free_

One could only remain ignorant for so long . As seriously as he could Sai turned Gai and asked, "Why would anyone slap a baby?"

Asuma, Obito, Rin and Yamato were standing beside the pool table with their game long forgotten. Over the years they had seen Kakashi and Gai compete in every way possible, but this. This was so unexpected. Who knew Kakashi even liked music? Certainly, they had never seen this side of him before.

Finally Rin found her voice, "Is there anything low he won't sink to when Gai is involved?"

Yamato could only shake his head.

So who won? And what song should Kushina pick for her duet with Minato?

Have any song request? My ask box is open.


	5. Caress Me Down

Beta'd by thatpinkshinobi.

As soon as Kakashi finished the ninken poofed away with a final grumble about a steak dinner. Kakashi chose to ignore them, hoping to make a quick escape and end this public display as quickly as possible.

He wasn't that lucky. Gai was on the stage, shaking his hand for a job well done before the smoke had time to clear. Now he was stuck standing there waiting for this to just be over. Maybe, if he was very lucky, he could sneak out after this and just go home for the night.

His gaze was drawn to Sakura, she sipped her beer and nodding at whatever it was Ino and Sai were arguing about. She looked up at the stage with a shy smile and he knew there was no sneaking out.

Anko's voice drew his attention back to the five judges in front of him. "Kakashi," she was obviously trying to be serious but her grin was anything but. "You really let me down with the wardrobe. I think I speak for most of us when I say we were disappointed you didn't have the _Jareth_ pants.

"Gai, you went the extra step with the Devo hats, for that reason you get my vote." As soon as she stopped talking she fell into another fit of laughter.

Iruka took Anko falling against his arm in stride and did his best to treat this situation with the utmost seriousness. "I enjoyed both songs, but I think the ninken made adorable little goblins, so my vote is for Kakashi."

Gaara was still wiping tears of joy from his face. He has never in his life laughed this much, and there was only one reason for it. "Gai!" He managed to get out before falling onto Iruka's other shoulder giggling uncontrollably.

Kurenai waited a moment assuming he would continue, but he just kept laughing. "It seems you both worked hard, and did your very best. I vote for Kakashi."

Gai's weight shifted from one leg to the other as he bounced around in anticipation. He knew this challenge had been a brilliant idea, much better than the drinking challenge that normally happened when they were at Tipsy's. Just one more judge and he would have this whole rivalry tied up again. All eyes were on Omoi.

The young bodyguard still hadn't returned his sucker to its normal home in his mouth. He was still trying to make sense of everything he had seen. "I don't really understand everything that is happening here, but I do know one thing. A leader should never look like a fool. This is no way for a kage to behave. So I have to vote for Gai."

Lee let out a shriek of joy. "Neji! Tenten! Did you hear that Gai-sensei won! The power of youth!" His grin was as wide as his face.

Kakashi looked slightly defeated as he walked off the stage slapping his enthusiastic rival on the back and forcing a congratulation. He looked at Sai in the chair he had left behind to participate in this obvious sham and frowned. Before he could find a polite excuse to kick him out, Ino jumped into action.

"Sai, come over here and sit with me," she said with a sly smile and a flutter of her eyelashes. Kakashi was taken aback at her obvious self appointed wing-woman move, but as Sai scrambled to the other side of the table he gave her a grateful eye creased smile. He casually slid into his chair and poured another beer from the pitcher in front of Genma as Kankaru walked confidently onto the stage.

Gaara did not need a front-row seat for this, more like a spot hiding in a corner. He abandoned the judges table with his woke done. Omoi and Kurenai did as well returning to their respective groups, but Anko and Iruka were quite comfortable with their spot, both still had most of a pitcher of beer and saw no good reason to move.

Temari cringed and sunk down into the booth at the sight of her brother walking across the bar to the stage. She wondered if she could just disappear. Gaara slid into the booth across from her and Shikamaru, taking the seat next to Choji. "Do you think it's too late to tell everyone he's adopted?" He asked cocking an eyebrow.

Temari buried her bright red face in her hands, shaking her head.

Choji couldn't stop himself. "Did you just make a joke, Gaara?"

Temari only groaned as the music started.

_Mucho gusto, me llamo Bradley I'm hornier than Ron Jeremy_

_And if you wanna get popped in your knee..._

"Not Sublime," she groaned. "He can't sing"

"He can't rap," Garra added. "And his Spanish is terrible."

Sai was trying very hard to keep up with everything happening. He had been reading about non-verbal communication, and it seemed like Sakura and Ino were having an entire conversation without saying anything at all.

It seemed like Sakura and Kakashi were staring at each other a lot and not speaking too, maybe they were also practicing non-verbal communication.

_When I kiss mexi it makes me feel horny_

_Cause I'm the type of lover with the sensitivity_

_When she kiss my neck and tickle me fancy_

_She give me the right kind of love on Sunday morning_

Genma watched as his perfect night was starting to go down in flames. Whatever this mess was, it wasn't what he wanted or planned. What was Kankuro thinking? This was going to bring the night to a screeching halt, and it was far too early for that. He was going to cut the prices on the drinks just to keep people here it this kept up.

_Levanta levanta tienes que gritar_

_Levanta levanta tienes que bailar_

_And it went uuh, and the girl caressed me down, uhh, and that's that loving sound..._

Anko was delighted. She knew it paid to keep her spot in the front of the room. As the music faded away the bar was almost silent, and poor Kankuro was waiting for the praise he thought that performance deserved.

She was speaking before she even realized what she was doing. "Kankuro, this was hard to watch, and even harder to listen to. The only thing worse than your singing is your rapping."

"-I don't know Anko," Iruka interrupted. "The Spanish was pretty bad too. But I do have to give you credit for the passion you bring to the production. If you want to continue exploring music, I would highly suggest that you take some lessons."

The room filled with laughter and the mood was lightened immediately. Genma sipped his beer with a smile as Kankuro slumped off the stage, maybe Anko and Iruka would save the night without him having to take a bath on the booze.

**Notes:**

Originally Kakashi was going to win the challenge, but Gai brought so much joy I had to let him have it.

I had a really hard time picking a song for Kankuro, but I am happy with how this one worked out.


	6. Hey Neji

Beta'd by Moonlady9.

As Kankuro tried to hide in the back corner booth, Sakura was still wiping her eyes and hoping her makeup had withstood the stream of tears cascading down her cheek. When she finally regained a sense of composure, she blinked the excess emotion away to find two warm gray eyes smiling back at her.

Kakashi lifted his hand to cup her cheek, and used his thumb to wipe the stray tears. In that moment Sakura felt a contentment she hadn't experienced in longer than she could remember.

"Sakura!" Only Naruto could have the complete lack of situational awareness to interrupt such a moment, and his yell broke the spell causing Kakashi and Sakura to jump and turn their attention to him.

She reached for her beer and found an empty glass. Kakashi refilled it, emptying the pitcher and excused himself to get another, taking Gai and Genma with him.

As soon as the orders were placed Genma rounded on Kakashi. "Took you long enough."

Gai, who was never as far behind as he pretended to be, perked up. "Yes, my rival, you must tell us the story of how you have defeated my young student, and stole Sakura's heart from Lee."

Genma and Kakashi, used to Gai's antics, knew it was best to ignore his... eccentric side. Kakashi hung his head. He had no intention of sitting for an interrogation, but there was no getting out of this without an abundance of conclusions, mostly from Genma. Those types of rumors wouldn't bother him at all, but he wouldn't let Sakura be the subject of assumptions. "There really isn't much to tell. It's... It's..." Kakashi didn't know how to finish his own sentence. How could he explain something he didn't fully understand himself?

Taking mercy on him, Gai placed a hand on his shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze. The thing about Gai was that he didn't have to say anything for Kakashi to know exactly what he was thinking.

* * *

Naruto slid into Kakashi's vacant chair. "Sakura, what are you doing up here? You didn't even say hey to meeeeeeeee!"

"Naruto-kun, I think that was Lord Hokage's seat." Hinata said gently, standing behind him.

"Kaka-sensei won't care."

"I think he might." Ino chimed in from her spot across the table.

Naruto looked from Hinata to Ino, understanding that he was missing something important.

Music suddenly filled the room, but no one had taken the stage. Everyone looked to Itachi, then Tenten's voice rang out as she danced to the stage.

_Oh Neji, you're so fine_

_You're so fine, you blow my mind_

Ino, Shizune, and Sakura were already in fits of laughter, but found the composure to sing out from their spot at the table.

_Hey Neji, hey Neji_

Hinata was confused, and maybe slightly conflicted. She could understand how her stoic cousin could fall in love with someone as eccentric as Tenten. Afterall, Tenten wasn't nearly as quirky as Naruto, but what she couldn't understand was why he was smiling. She would have been mortified.

_Oh Neji, what a pity, you don't understand_

_You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand_

_Oh Neji, you're so pretty, can't you understand_

_It's guys like you, Neji_

Somehow Neji's smile was infectious, and Hinata just had to join the other girls singing along from the table.

_Ooh what you do Neji, do Neji_

Naruto pulled Hinata into his lap where she fell into a fit of giggles. His arms wrapped around her waist and she relaxed into his hold.

* * *

Kushina wrapped sure fingers around Minato's bicep and started shaking him with glee. "Finally!" She squealed.

Minato could only smile in response. He wasn't as optimistic of Naturo's progress as she was. He had a way of tripping over his own intentions, but as Kakashi sat down pitchers of beer, he'd actually paid for, and somehow managed to take Sakura's seat and shuffle her into his lap, Minato thought there might be hope for both of them after all.


	7. Sweet Dreams

Notes: Thanks to Moonlady 9 for taking the time to beta this! You are just the best.

Anko almost spit out her beer watching Neji blush. Seeing a stoic Hyuga smile was always a treat. Tenten darted off the stage and was in his lap before she and Iruka could even begin to give their evaluation. Slightly affronted, Anko looked to Iruka and declared, "Shots! We need shots!"

It seemed she wasn't the only one who came to this conclusion as Karin and Jugo were making their way to all the tables with a round of shots.

* * *

Tsunade's eyes grew wide as Jugo made his way to her table setting the shot glass in front of her. It was a well known fact that the Godaime's favorite drink was one she didn't have to pay for.

Beside her, Jiraiya asked, "What's this?" before bringing it to his nose, giving it a cautious sniff.

"A Legendary Sucker, complements of the house." Jugo answered before moving on to the next table.

Jiraiya didn't even try to hide his glee. His deep laugh echoed throughout the bar. Tsuande looked to Dan to defend her, but he was already downing his shot in an excellent attempt not to be a part of this conversation.

* * *

Karin didn't say a word as she dropped a tray full of shots onto the table with a plop. Genma could only shake his head at her attitude as the red-head strutted away. Good help really was hard to find. Shizune was already passing the drinks around the table.

Kakashi gave his drink a weary sniff, eyeing the sugary rim with disdain.

Gai was much more enthusiastic, "I bet I can tie a cherry stem faster than you!"

"Aren't we too told for that?" Kakashi asked, slightly defeated. He knew there was no getting out of it once Gai saw a contest.

"What, don't want Sakura to see you lose?" The words were out of Genma's mouth before his brain had processed what he was saying.

Kakashi leveled him with a look that would have sent lesser men running, but Genma just cocked a challenging eyebrow at him. "Fine. I'll play too," he never backed down from a challenge.

"We all should," Ino said enthusiastically.

"I'm sorry Ino, I don't understand. What is the point of this game?" Sai asked, curious.

Genma burst out with laughter, when he could speak, he answered, "I'll get Yamato to explain later, kid. Alright on the count of three, first one to drop a tied cherry stem in their glass wins."

Kakashi was relieved to see everyone concentrating too hard on their own task to pay him any attention, and when Genma said three he tugged his mask down just enough to swallow the contents of the glass. The sugar did nothing to take away from the assault of sour and liquor that coated his mouth when he caught the stem with his teeth and set to work.

"Done!" Sai proclaimed, still not understanding the point, but proud of winning.

The remaining participants dropped their tied stems shortly after with a look of awe and annoyance at losing, except for Sakura. Her's landed in Kakashi's glass, with a double knot that caused the man under her to squirm and shift her weight as he adjusted his position.

"What was that anyway?" Kakashi asked, chasing it with a generous gulp of beer.

Genma smirked. "Our new drink, The Legendary Sucker."

Shizune almost choked on her beer.

Sakura could barely contain her glee. "Shisho is going to kill you."

* * *

In another corner of the room, at another table conversation came to a halt as Madara got up and started walking to the stage.

"Did you know anything about this?" Hashirama asked his younger brother.

"Why would I?" Tobirama spat.

Mito and Hasirama exchanged a look and shook their heads.

* * *

Itachi looked at the selection on the screen in front of him one final time. "Shisui, did he pick this or did you?"

"I wish I had picked it. It's inspired."

Itachi wasn't so sure about that, but pressed play.

The familiar upbeat electronic keyboards filled the room as everyone looked up in utter disbelief, all conversation stopping.

Madara was completely unfazed and sang out.

_Sweet dreams are made of this_

_Who am I to disagree?_

_I travel the world_

_And the seven seas,_

_Everybody's looking for something._

The entire performance only took a few minutes, and Madara seemed utterly unaware how the crowd was reacting as he belted out the lyrics with gusto.

* * *

"Obito, we should go back inside," Rin giggled.

He ignored her and continued peppering her neck with soft kisses.

"Everyone will wonder where we went," she murmured, pushing him away with a playful smile.

"I'm pretty sure they know where we are," he smirked.

"All the more reason to go back inside," she responded, more amused than angry.

He took her hand and their fingers laced together as they exited the ally and made their way back to the pub.

He pushed the door open, letting Rin go in first but they both froze in the doorway as Madara sang the chorus for the final time.

Obito's jaw felt as if it had dropped to the floor. "Oh. My. God!"

End Notes: Thanks to TipsyRaconteur for helping with The Legendary Sucker with is a Midori Sour, if you need a new drink for this quarantine.

Stay safe and be kind to one another.


	8. The Boys are Back in Town

Special love to NeonKnight for reading this over for me, and being an amazing cheerleader.

Iruka had seen a lot of things in his years as a shinobi. Sure most of his time was spent far from the battlefield, but a classroom full of chakra filled preteens was a new challenge every , nothing, no amount of pranks and tantrums, could have prepared him for this.

The electric keyboards ended and Madara stood before them, and no matter how hard Iruka tried he couldn't tell if Madara had done it intentionally.

"Oh. My. God." Obito's words cut through the silence. For a moment it was as if everyone was holding their breath, and then Anko started to cackle. It was infectious and a moment later the whole room was doubled over in laughter.

"That was the worst thing I have ever seen!" She spat between laughs.

Iruka shook his head, "Well, Madara, the performance was certainly unique, and your choice of song was-"

"-Inspired!" Anko finished for him, earning a collective groan from the crowd around them.

* * *

Madara had no interest in their opinions. He did what he wanted for his own reasons and simply walked off the stage and slid back into the booth next to Tobirama.

Hashirama caught his eye and he simply shrugged him off.

* * *

Tsunade had finished her _Legendary Sucker_ and Jiraiya's for good measure. She was starting to feel pretty good, but then that senbon obsessed ass had to get back on the stage.

"I hope everyone enjoyed their Legendary Sucker shots."

Tsunade was actually pushing her chair back to stand up and pull him off the stage by his choker.

"It's one of the new shots we have tonight, the others are the Pervy Sage and the Snake Bite, get all three half price for the next hour."

She settled back into her seat, maybe he wasn't all bad. The news of half price shots and hearing Jiraiya's groan both did wonders to improve her mood.

* * *

Ino was still laughing at all the wonderful suggestions around her about what a Pervy Sage would be when her father walked onto the stage, followed closely by his two best friends.

"Dad, no," she groaned, sinking as low in her chair as possible.

* * *

"Alright, go pops!" Chouji yelled out and Chouza waved back at him enthusiastically.

"Don't encourage them," Shikamaru grumbled as his dad started to sing.

_Guess who just got back today_

_Them wild-eyed boys that had been away_

_Haven't changed that much to say_

_But man, I still think them cats are crazy_

Temari didn't try to contain her glee. She was giggling uncontrollably next to Shikamaru.

"What?" he asked

"It's not just my family. Your family is just as weird."

Chouji didn't see what was so weird about it. It looked like fun to him. Maybe he should try and get Shikamaru and Ino to sing with him. His eyes scanned the room landing on another possible singing partner, maybe Karui liked singing too?

* * *

There was a bit of a coordinated dancing and shuffling that left Inoichi in the middle, and in front of the microphone.

But he didn't sing, it was more like a poetry reading, speaking the words in a low deep voice.

_You know that chick that used to dance a lot_

_Every night she'd be on the floor, shakin' what she got_

_When I say she was cool she was red hot_

_I mean, she was steamin'_

Ino was, for the first time in her life, speechless. This was all too organized, too well planned, They had been _practicing._ She expected such nonsense from Gai and Kakashi, but what was her father thinking?

Then he had the audacity to look right at her and wink before there was more shuffling and Chouza took his turn at the front.

Naruto looked over Hinata's shoulder to Sakura, "Do you think Teme will sing a song with us?"

"I don't know about him, but I am going to have to be a whole lot drunker." Sakura replied.

With Naruto-like enthusiasm he jumped up sending Hinata stumbling before grabbing her hand and taking off for the bar, "I'll get you a Pervy Sage!"

"Add that to the list of things I never want to hear again." Sakura mumbled to herself earning a chuckle from that man beneath her that made her feel warm all over.

_That jukebox in the corner blastin' out my favorite song_

_The nights are getting warmer, it won't be long_

_Won't be long till the summer comes_

_Now that the boys are here again_

Chouza finished off the final verse and Chouji let out another yell as the three men sang the chorus together for the last time.

"Hey Shikamaru, do you wanna sing something?"

"Not happening, Chouji," he answered in a tone that left no room for debate.

"Oh, maybe someone else will," he mumbled as he found himself starting at Karui again.


	9. These Boots Are Made For Walking

I heard this song on my way home from work and just had to add this chapter.

Thanks to Moonlady9 for being an awesome beta.

Iruka waited as the men finished the final notes of their tune. Anko had been beating him to the punch all night and he wasn't going to let her do it again.

Anko, however, wasn't as patient and she had things to say. She saw no reason to wait for music to stop. "You guys are a national treasure! This was the most fun I've had all night. And you embarrassed your kids, which is always a plus."

Iruka sunk down, disappointed. Why did she always have to steal his thunder like that? It wasn't fair.

* * *

Choji was having a great time. The snacks were plentiful and surprisingly good. Karin might have a bad attitude but she was a great server.

"Why would we be embarrassed?" he asked between bites of his chicken wing. "That was awesome!"

"They are such a drag," Shikamaru replied, but didn't comment any further.

"Are you sure you and Ino won't sing with me?"

Forget it, Choji, Not gonna happen.I don't sing"

Temari gave him her best doe eyes. "Not even with me?"

* * *

"We got a round of Pervy Sages and Snake Bites for everyone!" Naruto declared proudly.

Genma looked at him questioningly, "I don't see any drink?"

"Suigetsu is behind, Teme is helping him. I tried to get him to come hang out with us, but he said the table was already too crowded."

Genma's eyes practically had dollar signs in them, there were so many orders they were having a hard time keeping up, and he didn't even have to pay the bartender. He knew Karaoke night was a good idea.

* * *

"Are you sure this is the song she picked?" Itachi asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes, now hurry up. She's waiting." Shisui replied.

Itachi looked at the signup sheet one last time, just to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him and pressed play.

* * *

Mei wrapped both her hands around the microphone and swayed her shapely hips behind the stand.

_You keep saying you got something for me_

_Something you call love but confess_

_You've been a'messin' where you shouldn't 've been a'messin'_

_And now someone else is getting all your best_

There was a collective high-pitched cheer from the kunoichi around the bar before they all joined in the chorus.

_These boots are made for walking_

_And that's just what they'll do_

_One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you_

As she sang the final line of the chorus, Tsunade waved her fingers in Dan's face and pushed him back into his chair with a laugh.

Dan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Are you trying to run me off?"

Tsunade looked up at him with a soft smile and placed a light kiss to his cheek. "Never."

* * *

Sai looked around at the women laughing and singing around him. He was beginning to think he was going to spend the entire night confused. Weren't all boots made for walking? Maybe not hiking boots? But that wasn't much different than walking really. He was going to have to hunt down Yamato soon. He was always good at explaining these things.

Maybe Yamato would be able to help with the weird way Ino was looking at him, and what the point of the cherry stem game too.

* * *

Iruka worked quickly to organize his thoughts in his head. Every good teacher knew it was best not to speak until you knew exactly what you were going to say, but he wasn't going to let Anko have all the glory again.

_You keep playing where you shouldn't be playing_

_And you keep thinking that you'll never get burnt (HAH)_

_I just found me a brand new box of matches (YEAH)_

_And what he knows you ain't had time to learn_

_These boots are made for walking,_

_And that's just what they'll do_

_One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you_

_Are you ready, boots? Start walkin'_

Iruka's mouth was actually open this time when Anko yelled out, "Yas, bitch! Yas!" Punctuating it with a clap of her hands over her head.

He blinked owlishly at her. "Anko, you can't say that to a kage. I'm so sorry, Lady Mei," he stammered, still shocked.

"Yes she can!" Tsunade yelled from behind him.


	10. 9 to 5

Thanks to Mummapiantstheblues for all beta'ing this, and being awesome in general.

Tsunade was still laughing long after Mei had disappeared back into the crowd.

"I wouldn't laugh too hard." Jiraiya teased.

"And why not?"'

"Don't you remember last week? I bet you at least three kage would sing. That's two. One more and you have to sing the song I pick."

"Mei's retired. That doesn't count." She spat back confidently.

Most men would feel the need to defend their lover in this situation. Dan Kato wasn't most men, and Tsunade could certainly take care of herself without his help. Besides, she was so cute when she was ready to kill Jiraiya.

"I don't see why she wouldn't count," he chimed in what he thought was his most helpful tone. Before Tsunade could aim her ire upon him, he slipped off to the bar. More drinks wouldn't hurt anything.

Tsunade took one look at Minato and Kushina a few tables away and knew that she had lost. There was no way Minato would tell her no. Kushina had been babbling about this all week. Just how drunk had she beenshe when she agreed to this dumb bet anyway?

"Forehead, I gotta pee!" Ino declared over the table. Sakura didn't think twice before standing up to follow.

That didn't really surprise Kakashi, but Hinata, Tenten ,and Shizune all jumping up as well caused his eyebrows to raise a fraction. He gave Sakura's hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go. He had a feeling all the questions her friends held on the tips of their tongues were about to hit her all at once.

As soon as they were in the ladies room Tenten rounded on Sakura. "Details!"

"There isn't much to report," Sakura answered shyly.

To everyone's surprise it was Hinata who scoffed at that, "You've been sitting in his lap for the last hour!"

"Only because Naruto stole his seat!" Sakura protested.

"I'm pretty sure if Rokudaddy wanted his seat, he could have taken it back from Naruto," Ino yelled from behind the stall door.

"You did not just call him that!" Sakura yelled back.

As soon as Kotetsu and Izumo walked onto the stage Tsunade perked up. She might not be able to get out of her bet with Jiraiya, but the longer Minato and Kushina stayed in their seats, the better for her.

But then the music started and Kotetsu opened his mouth.

_Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen_

_Pour myself a cup of ambition_

_Yawn and stretch and try to come to life_

Then moved over to let Izumo continue.

_Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin'_

_Out on the street the traffic starts jumpin'_

_With folks like me on the job from 9 to 5_

Genma was loving this. He couldn't have hired better entertainment. Really, what kind of idiot complained about their boss, right in front of said boss.

Sakura was in such a hurry to escape the interrogation of increasingly personal questions she almost forgot to actually use the bathroom. She came out of the stall, washed her hands, and marched out the door without a word to her friends. But when she stepped into the dimly lit hall lined with empty kegs she stopped in her tracks.

_9 to 5, for service and devotion_

_You would think that I would deserve a fat promotion_

_Want to move ahead but the boss won't seem to let me_

_I swear sometimes that man is out to get me!_

"Shishou is going to kill them," she mumbled.

Shizune was nodding in silent agreement.

Tsunade was indeed ready to kill them. All they ever did was complain.

Dan seemed to read her mind, or maybe he could just see the murderous intent on her face, and leaned over. "You know, you aren't their boss anymore."

_They let you dream just to watch 'em shatter_

_You're just a step on the boss-man's ladder_

_But you got dreams she'll never take away_

"Did you hear that? They said, "she'll!" They're bitching about me!"

Jiraiya was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from reacting. Having been on the receiving end of Tsunade's rage he didn't feel anything but pity for the fools currently provoking her.

"I'm sure you just misheard them," he offered as consultation.

Sakura was retaking her seat in Kakashi's lap with her head held high, and not making eye contact with Ino or Tenten as the song started coming to a close.

_9 to 5, whoa what a way to make a livin'_

_Barely gettin' by, it's all takin' and no givin'_

_They just use your mind and they never give you credit_

_It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it_

Ino looked at the empty chair next to the one she had vacated. Had she been ditched? That had never happened to her before. She looked to Naruto expecting an explanation.

"What?" he asked.

"What happened to Sai?"

"He went looking for Yamato."

Sakura felt Kakashi giggle, even if she didn't hear him.


End file.
